Friday, June 18, 2010

Funny or Die Ralph Macchio





alternate meanings for various words

The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they
were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The
following were some of the winning entries.

· Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

· Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
gained.

· Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.

· Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

· Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

· Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

· Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

· Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

· Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after
you are run over by a steamroller.

· Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

· Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

· Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

· Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddish expressions.

· Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

· Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul
goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

· Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Canadian grocery store deals

Grocery Alerts is the first socially interactive grocery coupon website in Canada.
GroceryAlerts.ca is a website where consumers can view the top grocery deals at various regions across Canada. Grocery Alerts Canada editors read the latest flyers each week and post top deals from top grocery stores. The entire website is free.

View the grocery flyer for your favorite Canadian stores and print free grocery coupons! Visit http://groceryalerts.ca/

Just got this in an email too funny

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE CHILDREN

MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick
behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST
Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing
tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a
blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream
because this would wake a child at night.

GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them
with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for
anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net
bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend
from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to
insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on
the floor.

NIGHT TEST
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12
pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin
to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag
and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and
sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more
and sing these too until 4:00 a. m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get
up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint,
turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn
it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and
a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and
an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel
Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream
cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a
dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size
package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST (Women)
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (Men)
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask
the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store.
Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be
directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home
and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT
Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how
they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet
training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can
improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their
children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last
time you will have all the answers.

I don't know who the author is.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Why I love the Boonies



Out with the poopers this AM thought this looked so pretty

Sunday, June 13, 2010

oh oh

Seems the minions are trying to find a way to get the link off my siggy to this blog, If it bothers you that much don't click on the link!
Just remember if the rules apply to one they apply to EVERYONE. If your that adamant about it, have Boo PM me and I will remove the link. I'm not unreasonable. Just don't think that writing little innuendos in obscure posts will help you find a loophole to get rid of of it, people are keeping me informed too.

wtf?

always amazed that people can read something, it's in print, on line, hell you can copy and paste, but still somehow only see what they want to. Case in point:
itsjustmebub posted this about my blog

"your can update your blog - but really - honestly who blogs about how much they hate SC and how much SC sucks and then posts a link to their blog in their signature ...
my word.

Glad you got your $.
I am "biting my tongue" so much right now it's ridiculous."


I replied with this cause it baffles me that they see things that aren't even written here "never said that I hate SC or that it sucks you should learn to read"

I say un-bite it! If you want to voice your opinion on something you were in no way involved with, go for it, it's your right. I just wish you would not accuse me of writing something when clearly I did not.

I have no idea who you even are, this is the first posts of yours I have ever seen and no doubt the last.

Out in the Boonies: echeck pending

Out in the Boonies: echeck pending

echeck pending/cleared

shows in my account I have a pending eCheck from Smart Canucks estimated completion: 6/21/2010-6/23/2010 and it has cleared!

Thank you Boo. Will let everyone know when it clears.

An update got an answer from Boo

Got a PM this morning from Boo:
" Hi,

Your blog was brought to my attention and I found it very interesting and enjoyable to read

I just want to point out that I did not mean to cheat you in any way or not give you anything I owe you. So can you please let me know how much I owe you and I will make sure you get it asap.

I really enjoy your blog though so please don't stop writing even after the issue is resolved.. it's good to know how members think about SC so that I can work on improving it. My only concern would be hurting the moderators' feelings who are not to blame at all about this gifts mess... I am the one to blame.

Alex "

I just replied

"Hi Alex,
The amount would be around $40.00 I think.
I was at $33.96 and had 2 more purchases that never showed up: AVON FROM AUG 30 for $86.96 and TOYS R US FROM SEP 9 for $182.98
Ticket numbers # 75 AND #72
My PayPal email address is:
xxxxxxx.xx

SC ID thetick ID xxxx

Thanks in advance "


Will update when I have more.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

that's weird

When I went on this AM her post was gone, now it's back but edited from the quote I got in the email. The post reads Last edited by Sally888; Today at 12:51 AM.
Maybe it disappears when it's being edited?? Or mods can really make the threads appear as they want them??? Don't know, I am not very forum savvy. Interesting though. Just saying.

okay another "edited" post by sally888

"After reading your sladerous posts on your blog about me I really truly beg to differ. You game needs to stop, its quite disturbing and sladerous. You know sometimes I get mad about things or feel "ripped" off but I would never create an entire blog centered around slandering and hurting people.

No I dont need a response back or a war from you, I just have been really disturbed and have felt personally threatened in my real life since I came across it months back.

Sometimes its just not worth revenge or hurting people imo."

Personally threatened?? Are you kidding?? You'd think I had threatened her physically. This is not in away revenge, nor am I hurting anyone. Trust me, this is also not a game. This is an accounting of my personal dealings with the smartcanuks forum. I keep it here on my blog so that my friends can read it and in case I need it, all the information in one spot for legal reasons.

I served my country for 25 years in the CAF, I spent many tours peacekeeping with NATO fighting for the rights of those too afraid or unable to fight for themselves. You want to see someone that does not back off, it's me. Until every one that is owed by smartcanucks I will keep this blog going. I really hope a newspaper or TV station reads it, takes an interest and contacts me, because I do love to chat and am a stickler for detail.

How preposterous her posts are becoming. I think she's pissed that she just can't bully me like she has so many others on there.

Got a bit of a rise it seems

On the forum I have a subscription to the thread and awoke to this email message.

Dear thetick,

Sally888 has just replied to a thread you have subscribed to entitled - SmartCanucks Gifts, Cashback, Boxing Day, Money owing etc. *Current Status* - in the Site Related Posts forum of SmartCanucks.ca Flyers, Deals Canada.

This thread is located at:
http://forum.smartcanucks.ca/141700-smartcanucks-gifts-cashback-boxing-day-money-owing-etc-current-status-canada-new-post/

Here is the message that has just been posted:
***************

---Quote (Originally by thetick)---
You have not been here long enough to know what has been going on for well over a year. I only post truths
---End Quote---
After reading your sladerous posts on your blog about me I really truly beg to differ. If you continue berating my name I will seek legal advice.
***************

Surprise surprise, I go onto the board and lo and behold, the post has been removed.

Well sally888, bring it on. I have everything documented, I have all the emails, copies of the posts, even the ones that were removed. It's not slander if it's true. And I am not even using your real name, it is your forum name, which even in emails you use.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Just a post that I want to keep

I really need to update the continuing bull shit fest.
Smartcanucks owner Alex posted this today Jun 11 2010:

"Hi everyone!

I thought I'd update you on the gifts/money owing status.

We got a few good advertisers over the past couple of months so I am happy to announce that I will finally be able to payout ALL pending gifts and money as of July 1st.

Amberlab will however be busy because she's expecting a new baby so I will take care of sending out the gifts. If however you already contacted Amberlab you do not need to contact me. Your name is on the queue and we did not forget about you!

So here's my plan:

I'll get paid around June 28th but will most likely be camping on Canada Day (although I want to see the Queen at Parliament Hill so not sure what I'll do yet). Either way I'll be free starting from July 5th and will start mailing out the gifts that week. My plan is to pay out everything in July to bring SmartCanucks' balance back to $0.

I apologize for the delays in sending out your gifts/money. I have been running SC with a negative budget for a while now and it's really frustrating. I'm glad I'll be finally hitting the $0 mark next month"

Blah blah blah... he wants everyone to believe that they are going to start paying people they owe, sending gifts they owe, yeah they still held contests and shit, I don't believe Alex. This has been going on since before last August for many, Aug 2009 for me. Some of those members have since been banned or quit, they were just so fed up. I think it posted for the advertisers and to keep members,the ones not aware of the ongoing saga, from started to question them.

So they have new advertisers. Guess that is why they deleted all the negative posts about them lying to members, ignoring questions and emails.

I just posted this, but I don't expect it to stay up there long. They tend to try and keep me quiet, the whole reason I started keeping it here on my blog.

"What about us from last year who had to email all our cashback inquires and missing tickets to you and then when you bailed we had to then send everything to sally888?
By the way neither she or you have yet answered any of my emails this year, this has been ongoing since last August. Or are you just BS'ing again to keep the masses pacified? You can delete this post as I am sure you will, but I have already made a copy so that I can update my blog. It's really overdo."

And so the waiting begins again.